It's my turn!

I know that I'm supposed to have something to say... preferably something witty. But gosh darn it, I've got nothing. I mean, my life is all about going to school, going home, taking care of the puppy, going back to school, going home, taking care of the puppy, doing homework, taking care of the puppy. And there you have it. My life: not exactly conducive to wittiness. Unless of course I deteriorate into potty humor jokes about my dog. And I'm not quite that far gone.

So in an effort to find humor in my life, I'm submitting to our readership a list of funny/dumb laws that are really on the books:

Alabama

* It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
* Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
* It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

California

* Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
* Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
* Bathhouses are against the law. [Get the full text of this law.]
* It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
* Women may not drive in a house coat.

Florida

* Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
* A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
* If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
* It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
* Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
* Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
* It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
* When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

Kansas

* Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.

Louisiana

* It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Indiana

* It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
* Liquor stores may not sell milk.

Michigan

* You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Nebraska

* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

New York

* A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
* It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
* A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
* The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Dakota

* Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio

* It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
* It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Pennsylvania

* A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Texas

* It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
* It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Wisconsin

* You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
* Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

Don't you all wish that you were in law school now?

I give up.

I post, begging for comments, and no one leaves me anything. Sonja posts about random stuff and gets 11 comments. 11! I'm so jealous. And it's obvious who people are here to read. My words echo in the vast cavern of the internet.

Anywho, enough pity party. I was going to quit very dramatically and never write again, but that wouldn't be so 5 of me now, would it.

So you're stuck with me. Assuming i can find time in my busy schedule of school, homework, puppy, unpacking, and relationship to cobble together a few words that no one reads.

Boo hoo. I'm off to cry into my unpacked boxes.

Funkadelic

Well if Skye's in a funk about school, I'm allowed to be in a funk about something, right? Ok, well, maybe I'm not. After all, my life is pretty awesome right now. I like my job, I got a cool new haircut, I'm selling stories on the side, and, oh yeah, I'm going on a two-week Caribbean cruise in September.

And yet, selfish creature that I am, I can still find stuff to be in a funk about. And, let me tell you, funkiness is not becoming on me. I do not have a cute pout.

So what do you do to get out of your funks? Shop for office supplies? Play with cute little kittens? Stay in bed all day with the covers over your head (which is my method of choice, heh)? Tell me in the comments and I'll put your name in the hat for a free PDF of "Love In Shadow."