It's my turn!

I know that I'm supposed to have something to say... preferably something witty. But gosh darn it, I've got nothing. I mean, my life is all about going to school, going home, taking care of the puppy, going back to school, going home, taking care of the puppy, doing homework, taking care of the puppy. And there you have it. My life: not exactly conducive to wittiness. Unless of course I deteriorate into potty humor jokes about my dog. And I'm not quite that far gone.

So in an effort to find humor in my life, I'm submitting to our readership a list of funny/dumb laws that are really on the books:

Alabama

* It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
* Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
* It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

California

* Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
* Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
* Bathhouses are against the law. [Get the full text of this law.]
* It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
* Women may not drive in a house coat.

Florida

* Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
* A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
* If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
* It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
* Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
* Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
* It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
* When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

Kansas

* Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.

Louisiana

* It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Indiana

* It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
* Liquor stores may not sell milk.

Michigan

* You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Nebraska

* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

New York

* A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
* It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
* A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
* The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Dakota

* Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio

* It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
* It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Pennsylvania

* A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Texas

* It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
* It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Wisconsin

* You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
* Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

Don't you all wish that you were in law school now?

To sleep, perchance to dream, aye, there's the rub

I realize I have yet again fallen behind in posting. And will probably continue to do some in the next few weeks, since I'm going walkabout on Sunday to go visit law schools. And friends. :)

At any rate, I have nothing to offer Sonja in the way of advice for getting up earlier... I love sleep. Not even cattle prods would convince me to wake up earlier if I didn't think i was ready to get up. My mom (and brynmuffin will corroborate this) used to be SO cheerful that she would sing obnoxiously cheery songs in the morning to wake us up. I once chucked a pillow at her and told her i was practicing for the weekend. This, however, did not work. Alas, as a result, now that I'm no longer forced to wake up for, say, work, I don't. Simple as that :) JB does occasionally drag me out of bed with him (the crazy man only needs a little bit of sleep! how weird is that?)

Anyways, to connect sleep and inspiration, I have 2 stories. One involves an old book and one involves a new one.

The first: While i was writing my first book as my senior thesis in college, I was having troubles coming up with a title for it. I strained my brain trying to think of something and couldn't come up with a title that suited it. So one night I went to sleep after a hard day's work of typing. Ah ha! Suddenly, I woke up in the middle of the night with the most insightful title i could never have thought up awake. I was so excited! It was perfect. The book would sell on the title alone. This was it. Of course, I thought that i should write it down, but couldn't find any paper near my bed and thought to myself "Well, it's so perfect, I'll never forget" Yep, bet you can guess the ending to this story... I woke up the next morning with the memory of having thought of the perfect title.... AND NO MEMORY OF THE TITLE ITSELF. Ugh. It took me several months to come up with another one that I'm quite sure isn't as good as the first: Misdirection. Of course, I'm left to wonder if i ever really came up with the perfect title or i just dreamed that I did. You know how when you dream and you think you've solved something perfectly and you wake up and are like "well, obviously my brain is on crack because that wouldn't work in a million years?" well, it's possible that's what happened. But i prefer to believe in my genius. And then my lameness in forgetting. :)

Oh, and I should add as a p.s. to that story that when I actually thought up Misdirection as a title, I was flying somewhere and had another ah ha moment. And then remembering my mistake of last time, asked the man sitting next to me if i could borrow his pen for a minute to write it down. :) Lesson learned.

The second story involves a dream from just the other night. It's all getting vaguer in my head as time passes, but it spawned an idea for a book that I still remember, so I'm counting that as progress. The dream involved a lot of lawyers, basically, and as the dream progressed in odd ways (which I'm not sharing because it'll take too long) I figured out that all of the lawyers for this law firm i was dreaming about were VAMPIRES. Yeah, basically, i can't figure out if I'm 1) reading too many vampire stories, 2) watching too many back episodes of Boston Legal or 3) am really nervous about becoming a lawyer and having everyone hate me. What do you all think?

My story idea, of course, is way cooler. :) But yes, it includes vampires and lawyers all the same. Lucky me!