It's my turn!

I know that I'm supposed to have something to say... preferably something witty. But gosh darn it, I've got nothing. I mean, my life is all about going to school, going home, taking care of the puppy, going back to school, going home, taking care of the puppy, doing homework, taking care of the puppy. And there you have it. My life: not exactly conducive to wittiness. Unless of course I deteriorate into potty humor jokes about my dog. And I'm not quite that far gone.

So in an effort to find humor in my life, I'm submitting to our readership a list of funny/dumb laws that are really on the books:

Alabama

* It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
* Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
* It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

California

* Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
* Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
* Bathhouses are against the law. [Get the full text of this law.]
* It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
* Women may not drive in a house coat.

Florida

* Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
* A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
* If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
* It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
* Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
* Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
* It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
* When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

Kansas

* Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.

Louisiana

* It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Indiana

* It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
* Liquor stores may not sell milk.

Michigan

* You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Nebraska

* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

New York

* A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
* It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
* A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
* The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Dakota

* Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio

* It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
* It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Pennsylvania

* A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Texas

* It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
* It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Wisconsin

* You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
* Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

Don't you all wish that you were in law school now?

The Marvel of the Internet

Up until just recently, I was convinced that the internet was the best invention ever (thanks Al Gore!), but today, I'm beginning to rethink that statement. After returning from the RWA National Conference, I had 3 requests for partials that I needed to send in (hooray for me!). One of the agents even asked for me to email them to her, which I thought was a great idea.

"Wow," I thought, "someone who understands the interwebs! How handy for me!"

And since i was already submitting three sets of partials, I decided to query two other agents who I was very interested in. Both accepted e-queries as well, which made my day. So the night before last, I arranged all my stuff, organized the queries and sent them off into cyberspace. It was around 11pm, I think, since i do my best work at night.

"How simple that was!" I said, dreading my visit to the post office the next day to send off the two remaining partial requests.

Until the next morning. When i woke up and discovered that I had ALREADY received a rejection from one of my slush pile queries. Less than 12 hours had passed and already I was crushed. Usually, you have time to come to terms with submitting a query and the possibility of a rejection. But i was still riding high on the euphoria of actually submitting again, after a very long hiatus.

Sigh.

Still, no worries. I'm sure that the others will do better. After all, now it's been more than 24 hours and I still haven't gotten any more rejections. Hoorah for me!

Also, I'm told by Sonja that I'm supposed to post the winner of our fabulous "What Personality Type Are You? Contest" I'm pleased to announce that Becky is our wonderful winner of Bite Me If You Can, by Lindsay Sands. Please email Sonja with your address and she'll send it right off to you! Congratulations.

Back to my pain... Anyone else have any excruciating rejection stories you want to share? Post them and I'll give away... uh... some book. Maybe one of Sonja's! :)

Technicalities

So, as Sonja is already well aware, I may be a techno geek, but I'm totally anti-social-networking, which both she and my boyfriend despair of, since I spend quite a bit of time making fun of their MySpace pages. Anyways, I don't actually READ blogs online, per se. Not even the ones I write on, including this one. They are emailed to me, but they don't get here until a day later. Which means that by the time I get this blog in my email, I only have a day left to post. So, all this time, I've gone of the (probably wrong) assumption that I will post 2 days after I read it. Therefore, I usually wind up posting 3 days after Sonja.

Which is what I'm trying to clarify. Is this bad and wrong? Should I be adhering firmly to the 2 day limit we set out way back when? Or am I okay with letting it slide? Thoughts, comments, suggestions?

Anyways, in other news, I'm back in North Carolina, which means I get to see my bestest buddy, at some point. Hopefully. Sonja? Are you out there? It only took me and JB a mere 30 hours to make it across the country. We practically could have driven faster. And we spent a wonderful night at the Dallas airport. So I'm one up on Sonja- to prepare for the RWA National Conference, I stuck it out in Dallas, just to see what the weather was going to be like. Which, i'm not pleased to report, is sucky. But maybe it'll be better by the time we get there.

For other preparations, however, I'm also lacking. Since my eyeball was out of comission, I was unable to stick to my writing schedule and finish my WIP before the conference. Which means I'll be pitching an unfinished book again. Oh well.

I'm also trying to find the motivation to get to working on the book again. I've had 4 or 5 weeks off of it now and I'm struggling to get back. Need inspiration... Any help for those of you out there in readerland?

And one final note to Sonja... Quit yer bitching about being compared to your sister. You're IDENTICAL TWINS!!! And while you and I may not think the two of you actually look that much alike, most of the rest of the universe only sees the similarities. Also, on her wedding day, she probably looked fabulous. So being compared to her is a compliment. Suck it up.

Hello Internets!

I'm back! Yes, that's right, this is really me, Skye, not Craig typing for me. Not that he posted for me while i was... incapacitated, but whatever. Sonja took up the slack nicely. Plus I loved having Craig read me the fun post about panties. Totally worth the whole pain and eyeball suffering i just went through. Or maybe not.

At any rate, i think I'm technically supposed to wait until tomorrow to return to reading and computer work, but it's been long enough. And if i don't get to see the internets for myself NOW, I'll go crazy. Or crazier. Your pick.

It honestly hasn't been as bad as i expected, but this last week really chafed. My eyeball is fine, for those of you who are interested... it still hurts occasionally and it looks freaky because the eye drops i was on made it dilate and it hasn't stopped doing that yet. So i look kind of stoned or concussed, depending on your point of view with one dilated pupil and one not dilated. Super fun.

What kept me from going totally bonkers (besides Craig reading me my email every day) was the fact that we were moving and i had plenty of other stuff to keep me busy. What with the unpacking and the buying furniture and all the rest of the stuff that's involved with a move across country. Speaking of, if you didn't get an email from me about my new phone number, email me. I just forgot you. Sorry. :)

So, let the games begin. Sonja, i expect you to resume our extremely strict every 2 day posting schedule now. :)